I’ve decided to share with all of you Charlie listeners out there my love for milkshakes. I’ve had this obsession since I was a small boy and used to make them myself with my mom’s bright orange blender before I could drive, but now I just drive to the closet drive thru to get one. We’ll start with the bottom and work our way up. 

The bottom consists of the thinest, almost milk like part of the milkshake that was at the top of the blender. I love this part and sometimes I’ll let the milkshake sit out for a few minutes to let the thin stuff collect at the bottom. If I’m really thirsty or have really bad cotton mouth I’ll just keep drinking and that takes me to the middle.

The middle is usually the thickest part of the milkshake and you have to suck really had through the straw and my cheek muscles usually get tired when I’m at this part of the shake. This is also the coldest part of the shake so if it’s a really hot day, this section cools you off the most. After you give your cheek muscles a break and move onto the next section, the top.

The top is usually a mixture of what’s on the very bottom, the thin milky part and the foam. Now I don’t like the foam part but if I’m really thirsty I’ll still drink it. Hey, you can’t let it go to waste! If you don’t like the foam part either when you’re still at the middle section you can usually mix the 2 sections together with a straw to avoid the foam.

Now that you know the structure of a milkshake, who has the best milkshakes?

McD’s: Their milkshakes are super thick (hence they’re called triple thick) and great for extra hot days, plus they are easy on the wallet. I go to McDonald’s all the time cause they are right by my pad.

The Burger Village: These are my favorite and they have seasonal flavors too. Burgerville’s shakes are good all of the time and aren’t too thick and they put whip topping on the seasonal shakes. They’ve got a great Mocha Perk that is good if you need a pick up but don’t like coffee. My favorite of their shakes is by far the Chocolate Hazelnut seasonal shake. It’s only around during the holiday season and January. This past year they had it early in October/November and Burgerville had a portion of my pay check in their registers for that 3 month time peroid. The only downside to their shakes is they are a little spendy, but worth it.

Mike The Man Drive In: If you like variety this is your place! They’ve got so many flavors and combinations you could have a different flavored shake for every day for probably 2 months. They’re priced pretty well too. I only wish they had drive thru’s.

BK: These shakes are alright and are priced fairly too. The best thing about Burger King is that if you are lactose intolerant you can get the Icee’s! They’re just like the ones from convenice stores and they usually have atleast 2 flavors.

Your Mom, Wendy: These milkshakes are legendary and you’ve gotta use a spoon. Recently they come in multiple flavors and you can add topping to them too. Most recently they’ve got coffee ones and boy do those hit the spot. Their shakes are great to dip your fries and you can’t say about every one’s shakes.

Nearly all of the fast food joints have milk shakes but these were the ones I look for when driving down 82nd ave. Next time you’re drinking a milkshake, look for the layers!

Later dude.